Frozen


I was frozen in torment,
encased in shatterproof glass.
Looking wide-eyed and petrified
at barbarous acts and useless tears,
at fists, legs, mouths vilifying life.

"You useless bitch, don't even try,
pathetic excuse for a woman,
even bloody worse as a mother,
you look like trailer trash, you stupid whore,
no one else will ever want you.
You deserve to be hurt...
You know that don't you?"

My soul battered, my body torn,
destroyed piece by piece.
The crafty bastard knew just how...
I could not please him anymore...
and he made sure I knew.

My eyes so empty, mirrored existence.
I trudged along, too tired to care.
The bruises hidden, the fear all around me.
Fridays just too horrible to contemplate.

His drunken speeches of self importance,
I had to listen, respond or else...
I had to hear how she was better,
her body perfect, her caresses so erotic,
how she would be my children's mother
if I ever chose to go away...

So I stayed...

Encased in shatterproof glass,
an empty shell,
despicable even to me.

Copyright © 2004, Bea Swanepoel